I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
A+ Viking dick
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
