ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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