At least make sure they are 18
Why
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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