I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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