Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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