I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
