i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
