My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
