it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
