I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
