Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
