He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
