Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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