how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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