I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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