No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
