even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
