We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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