he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
