why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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