I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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