I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
