thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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