there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
