I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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