she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
