STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
