also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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