I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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