just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
