I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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