Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
