Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
