ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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