Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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