Whod you bang
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
