I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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