Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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