planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
