I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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