saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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