I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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