What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
