they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize