That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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