dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
