My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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