Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
