it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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