I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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